I’ve been thinking about the past presidents, all 45 of them. And I’ve decided I must do my duty as a citizen of the United States. Rank them from ugliest to hottest. All 45.

45. Donald Trump
Donald Trump is ugly, and always has looked ugly.

44. Van Buren
Listen. This guy was probably so nice. I feel bad that he’s number 44, but I really can’t find a president uglier than him (other than Trump).

43. John Adams
The second president of our country looked like the mean woman that yells at you for something really stupid.

42. James Buchanan

Idk. Cam told me.

41. Gerald Ford
Where are his eyebrows?

40. James Monroe

39. Andrew Jackson
“He look like a foot!” – Zoe Zilcosky, senior at BPHS

38. John Quincy Adams
Like father like son.

37. Chester Arthur
His facial hair really did not suit him well.

36. James Madison

35. Andrew Johnson
Why does he always look so mad?

34. Dwight Eisenhower
He looks like Homer Simpson?

33. William Howard Taft

32. William McKinley

31. Grover Cleveland 

30. Benjamin Harrison
He’s old, but I don’t think he looks that bad. I like his eyes.

29. George Washington
Kudos for the whole first president thing, but he’s not that hot.

28. Millard Fillmore

27. Grover Cleveland

26. Thomas Jefferson

25. Theodore Roosevelt

24. James K Polk

23. John Tyler

22. Herbert Hoover

21. Warren G. Harding
Them brows though.

20. Harry S. Truman

19. Lyndon B. Johnson
Everything but that nose. That poor nose.

18. Jimmy Carter
If his picture was a painting like Washington’s, he’d probably be lower in this list.

17. Calvin Coolidge

16. George H. W. Bush
ugh

15. William Harrison

14. Zachary Taylor
not hot. not ugly. just kind of there.

13. James Garfield
One of the three amazing bearded presidents. It was very hard to rank these three.

12. Woodrow Wilson

11. Abe Lincoln
An absolute icon to our country, yeah, but he’s also got the most interesting face. Like, what would it be like to see him in person? Intimidating or comforting?

TOP TEN

10. Franklin Pierce
For being president so long ago, this guy really had it going on. I liked his hair and he wasn’t too bad looking.

9. George W. Bush
Yeah, pretty attractive, but pretty average. Kind of reminds me of a piece of bread.

8. Ulysses Grant
One of the three amazing bearded presidents. I really like his look; kind of makes me want to hold him. He’s like a friendly bear.

7. Franklin D. Roosevelt
An icon. Complete game changer. And he looked good while having polio. Props to you brotha.

6. Richard Nixon
Listen, this one might have been a little biased. I don’t know why, but I have a soft spot for this dude.

5. Rutherford Hayes
THEM EYES THO! He looks like Jared Leto with a cool beard.

4. Bill Clinton
Those old photos of him and Hillary, oh my, he is so cute. I don’t know. I probably wouldn’t touch him if he wasn’t a president but whatever.

3. Ronald Reagan
I’m trying not to get my political beliefs in this, and they’re not, but I’m still going to just say that this dude is a softy Trump. Whatever. Still hot though.

2. John F. Kennedy
Yas!! He’s very hot; 95% of photos of him are amazing. Only thing holding him back is that eye thing. Him and Jackie were a great power couple. Rest in peace baby.

1.Barrack Obama
I can’t even explain my love for this man. He is so hot. I can’t fathom what he’d look like if he didn’t have all of that stress on his shoulders for the past 8 years. This is probably a bit biased because I grew up during his presidency, but come on. Look up photos of him. He’s beautiful.