The heartbeat of Hawk Eye, the leader of the yearbook, the sponsor of Camera Club and Junior Ways and Means, and an instructor of English 10 is as old as Jesus this week.

John Allemang’s birthday is the day after Halloween, and this year is special because he turns 33.

When asked what his most memorable birthday was, he replied with, “I can’t remember any of my birthdays, kinda blurry.”

Allemang said that he “wasn’t born from a woman,” and when we asked him to elaborate on what he meant by that, he said he was born through a C-section just like Macduff in “Macbeth.”

Mr. Allemang said, “My mom could have had me on Halloween, but she wanted me to be born on All Saints’ Day. So, she waited a day.”

Since he was born on All Saints’ Day, the question of his favorite saint came up and he said it was “Saint Pio, because he bore the stigmata–the wounds of Christ– and he could bilocate–be in two places at one time–, and he could read peoples’ hearts by knowing their sins before they confess them. That’s pretty cool.”

Allemang’s favorite birthday tradition is eating cookie cake “with myself and my cats.”

If anyone is looking to get him a birthday gift, he said he would appreciate, “either more TRI-conderogas or a new Jerry Garcia tie.”